Hello, America, My Name Is Rielle Hunter
- July 29th, 2010
- Write comment
Hello, America, My Name Is Rielle Hunter
We’ve heard from former senator John Edwards, we’ve heard from his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Saint Elizabeth, and we’ve heard (bleh) from Andrew Young, the former Edwards aide and faux father. But through it all—the affair and the cancer-stricken spouse, the doomed campaign and the love child, the sex tape, all of it—we’ve never heard from the woman at the heart of the story. Now, after years of silence, the other woman speaks
Hunter with Quinn, her and John Edwards’s 2-year-old daughter, at home in Charlotte, North Carolina, on February 3, 2010.
i met rielle hunter for the first time the day of our first interview, at her home in Charlotte, North Carolina, though we’d already spoken for some months on the phone. And would continue to, as more developments were reported. (Are she and John Edwards engaged? “I am not engaged.”) There were no conditions, no ground rules, no topics or questions that were off-limits. Just a request that her words be her words, unfiltered and unspun. While everyone else in the Edwards drama has said their piece, in books and/or television interviews, the mistress and campaign videographer and mother of his child has, in her own words, “kept my mouth shut.” Until now (as they say in the tabloids).
My first impression of Hunter, when she opened the back door of the screened porch filled with toys and strollers in the three-bedroom house she is renting (for $1,500 a month), her hair pulled up in a scrunchy, was that she was much prettier, and a whole lot softer, than all those National Enquirer spy photos suggest. She was wearing size 2 jeans, a Ralph Lauren turtleneck, and Uggs. No makeup. And she was laughing. Because Quinn, her 2-year-old daughter, had just done something particularly adorable. The child is gorgeous and, yes, looks exactly like John Edwards, but she also has her mother’s spirit. Which is to say, a combination of serenity and spunk.
Hunter had fluffed up the tiny guest room upstairs—carefully placing a Zen-sayings paperback beside the twin bed—and invited me to stay overnight, with a warning that the three of us (she, Quinn, and I) would have to share the one bathroom, where the tub is filled with her daughter’s rubber duckies. I accepted.
During the day and night and into the next morning, our talks were sometimes interrupted by the presence of a creepy guy exiting a dark blue van and setting up a tripod and camera on the sidewalk by her house, the lens focused into her living room or bedroom. She would handle this with practiced ease, closing any shutters that weren’t already closed (“I love sunlight, but this is the reality”), at night dimming the lights and, with Quinn on her hip, dialing up her pals in the local police department, who are used to this (and are fiercely protective of her and Quinn). The cops would do their thing, the paparazzi would scatter—then return an hour or so later and the whole exercise would start again.
Throughout the day, news flashes and fresh rumors about her and Edwards popped up on my BlackBerry and her laptop. (The TV was on constantly, but it was tuned to Nick Jr., Quinn’s favorite channel, not CNN.) At one point, while Hunter was feeding her daughter sushi-style avocado rolls in her high chair, the news broke that John and Elizabeth Edwards were officially separated. “Shocking,” she said.
You haven’t uttered a word so far. Why now?
I feel comfortable talking now, because Johnny went public and made a statement admitting paternity. I didn’t feel like I could ever speak until he did that. Because had I spoken, I would have emasculated him. And I could not emasculate him. Also, it is not my desire to teach my daughter that when Mommy’s upset with Daddy, you take matters into your own hands and fix Daddy’s mistakes. Which I view as one of the biggest problems in all female-and-male relationships.
We’ll get to that. But first, we should make it clear: You’re not making a penny from this interview.
[laughs] I am not making a penny from this interview!
I would imagine you could have sold out a hundred times.
I could have cashed out big. But that’s not what I’m about. I love Johnny and I love my daughter more than anything in the world, and I don’t want to ever do anything to hurt them or hurt their relationship.
How hard was it to keep quiet?
At times very difficult. It’s been four years. It’s hard to know that people are out there speaking over and over and over again untruths. Lies. Consciously going out there and spinning the truth. Using me and Johnny and our relationship to make themselves look better, to play victim, or to get money. That rubs me the wrong way in every way possible.
By the way, do you always call him Johnny?
[laughs] Isn’t that funny? You know, when I first met him, the first week of our relationship, I said to him, “For some reason I cannot call you John, it doesn’t come out. Could I call you Johnny?” And he said, “That’s my name.” And I didn’t know that, but that’s his actual birth name.
Is he okay with your doing this interview?
He’s very supportive of me talking now. He believes that it’s something that will help me be at peace with it. And he knows how important truth is to me. Factual truth as well as spiritual truth.
What was the hardest thing you’ve had to read about yourself?
Um, well, there’s so much, Lisa. [laughs] I mean, just for starters, I never “hit on” Johnny. I’m not a predator, I’m not a gold digger, I’m not the stalker. I didn’t have any power in that way in our relationship. He held all the power. And then, you know, um, Elizabeth’s book tour and Johnny’s interview [in August 2008 with ABC's Bob Woodruff] were devastating to me. But I also knew it didn’t mean anything.
You mean the interview where he said it was impossible that he was the father.
Correct.
And wasn’t that when he was asked if he loved you and he responded by saying there was only one woman he ever loved, Elizabeth?
I believe so. Yeah. I mean, it was very painful. Because I had this thing in my head like a lot of women, where you want your man to stand up on a cliff and scream, “I LOVE HER.” You know, the knight in shining armor. And that wasn’t what was going on.
Did he call you after the interview?
Yes. And I said, “Ouch, that hurt.” And he said, “I’m sorry.” And “It doesn’t mean anything.” And it didn’t. I know he loves me. I have never had any doubt at all about that. We love each other very much. And that hasn’t changed, and I believe that will be till death do us part. The love doesn’t go away. It’s unconditional. It’s unconditional on my part, but our connection is profound. There’s a lot of passion there.
Do you think it’s unconditional on his part?
You would have to ask him. I can’t speak for him. I wouldn’t ever speak for him.
*****
Let’s start at the beginning. February 2006. How did you meet him?
I met him on a street corner. [laughs] A lot has been written that I met him inside the Regency [hotel in New York City], that I walked over to his table. That is all 100 percent fiction. I saw him in the Regency, in the Library, which is the restaurant-slash-lounge. And he saw me. And it was a mutual unusual staring going on. There was an instant and odd connection that we both felt. Like, “I know you, you know me, who are you?” Anyway, he then got up and left.
So you didn’t approach him in the Regency?
No. One thing I’ve learned about relationships and men is that you can never walk across the room for a man. If a man is attracted to you, he needs to take the first step.
Did you know who he was?
I did not know who he was.
Really?
I did not. The John Edwards I saw in 2004 on TV I believed to be a disconnected, two-dimensional-geek kind of guy. And the man sitting across the room was not that at all.
Then what happened?
He got up and left, and Josh Brumberger [one of his aides] left with him. But the other person they were with—a donor, a lawyer named Tony—stayed. And when they left, my friend went over and asked Tony if that was John Edwards, and he said yes. And my friend turned to me and said, “See, I told you it was John Edwards.” And then I came over to the table, and I said, “I can’t believe that was John Edwards; he’s so hot. He’s really got it going on. He’s got something unusual about him, and I never would have recognized him.” And Tony said, “Oh, my God, you should have come over and told him that. He would have loved to have heard that.” Anyway, my friend and I stayed there, and we had another friend come join us. And then Josh came back. And when I went to the restroom, I stopped at Josh’s table and gave him a card and got Josh’s card. I did that because my friend really wanted to work for John Edwards. So I gave Josh a card. And my card, by the way, never said truth seeker on it.
What did your card say?
It said rielle hunter. being is free.
And that was because—
It was the Web site that I had. Which is a whole other topic. Anyway, when my other friend came—she was about to get married, so it was all about that. There was no more talk of John Edwards.
And then what?
We decided to go get dinner. And on the way out, [the second friend] noticed a poster of someone she knew who was going to sing at the Regency and went back in to ask the concierge about it, and that’s how I ended up standing on the street. We were standing outside waiting for my friend, and who comes waltzing around the corner but one Johnny Reid Edwards.
Was he surprised to see you?
Well, what Johnny later told me was, he went to dinner and could not stop thinking about me, like, “Who was that woman, and why didn’t I go over and talk to her?” Because it was the oddest connection he had ever felt. And so, when he was coming back to the Regency, he looked in the window at the Library, which you can see from the street, and I was gone. And he was so disappointed. Kicking himself. So when he walked around the corner and saw me standing there, he lit up like a Christmas tree. And I thought his reaction when he saw me was just so cute. I mean, he looked like a little kid at Christmas. And I just uttered to him, “You’re so hot.” And he said, “Why, thank you!” And he almost jumped into my arms. Literally. And um, that’s how we met. On the corner of 61st and Park Avenue.
The “You’re so hot” line was one of those things, when Elizabeth did her book tour, that she seemed very appalled by.
Look, I could have said A, B, C, D, and E. [laughs] It didn’t matter. And it’s funny, because the only reason I said, “You’re so hot” is because Tony said, “Oh, he would love to have heard that.” And he did love it. Without a doubt. And by the way, he is hot. He is not the two-dimensional geek that I thought he was, by any stretch of the imagination. He is hot.
Why do you think he loves you?
Um… How do I answer that? [long pause] I mean, I could give so many answers. I could give a spiritual answer, that I reflect back to him large parts of himself that were unconscious. Like, he’s a huge, huge humanitarian. He is very kindhearted and sweet. He’s very honest and truthful. And all of that was hidden.
But the irony of what you’re saying—right now, most people think he’s the most untruthful person in America.
You know, it’s so fascinating to me how people perceive things. Everyone talks about how Johnny has fallen from grace. In reality, he’s fallen to grace. He is integrated. He is living a life of truth. He has grown in awareness and humility. He had all these things within him, but they weren’t the guiding, leading principles of his life. Now they are.
Do you think he thinks that? That he’s more integrated now?
Yeah. I think that he thinks that he is a much wiser and a much better and a more truthful and a more integrated human being.
Did you encourage him earlier to be truthful?
Um, once again, in a male-female relationship, you can offer… I mean, the way that I have learned to keep a relationship going is to offer your advice when asked for it, and love unconditionally when it’s not taken.
That must be hard to do.
It’s beyond difficult. To allow a man to be a man. The biggest mistake that I find is that women attempt to make men women. You know, we want them to be like we are. We want them to get it immediately and do things the way that we want them to do them. And men are men. And I love him for being a man. But oh, my God, yes, it’s been infuriating so many times.
Like when he said on national television that it was impossible that he was the father?
Correct. But I also knew when he did that interview he was not in the right mind. He was traumatized. Because he had been living a life that was now exposed. And he does, you know, traumatic things when that door opens. Like Mark Sanford. A hidden life, when it is exposed, is a traumatic event for the person going through it. And they’re not in their right mind. Anyone going through that should never speak publicly. And what they say, if they do speak publicly, should be forgiven.
*****
So you say, “You’re so hot.” Then what?
I said I could help him. Which I really believed I could. And quite frankly—well, depending on your perspective, I really have.
And that president thing, whatever.
Yeah. So I said, “I can help you.” And he said, “I want your help. I need your help.” And he told me how to contact him [at the Regency]. He said, “Please call me.” I said, “How long are you staying?” He said, “Until tomorrow morning. Please, call me. Call me.”
What did you mean by “I can help you?”
That I could help him see who he is instead of what he’s not. The person standing in front of me was not the person they were selling, or his public persona. He was completely opposite from his public persona.
So it’s not like you were thinking, I can help you by videotaping the campaign?
No.
You were thinking—
That I could help him become more integrated so that people could see that he had it going on.
And you knew that in the first few seconds?
Upon sight. So I called him about a half hour later. And I got a voice mail in the room, so I hung up. Did not leave a message. Because I did not know what was appropriate. I knew he was married, and I didn’t know if his wife was with him, you know; I didn’t know what was appropriate. And this was not—there was no sexual intention here at all.
Really? C’mon.
None. I really just thought I could help him. So I hung up. And about ten minutes later, my cell phone rang. And I looked down, and I said to my friends, “What is this number?” One of my friends said, “That’s the Regency.” And I said, “He’s calling me back? I didn’t even leave a message. How is he calling me back?” And he, you know, star-69′ed or whatever the caller ID was. And he left me this message, “Hi. Call me. I really want to hear what you have to say.”
So…
So I called him back. And he said that he really wanted to hear what I had to say. Would I mind, um, meeting him in his room? And I said, “No, I wouldn’t mind at all.” And the reason I wouldn’t is because he’s a celebrity. I have a lot of celebrity friends, and I know their rules are different. Also, it felt completely familiar, like I’d known him all my life. Anyway, so I said, “Let me eat my Caesar salad, and I’ll see you in fifteen minutes.” And I said to my friends, “I’m going over there.” And it was funny, because they were like, “You cannot sleep with him! You cannot sleep with him, because you can help him!” And I said, “I am not going to sleep with him.” I gave them my word: “I won’t sleep with him.” [laughs] And so I went over to his room, and I walked in, and I. Was. Terrified.
Why terrified?
Because I had never experienced anything like what was flowing between us. I sat on the other side of the room. I wouldn’t go near him. And he kept saying [she mimics his southern drawl], “What are you doin’ over there? Come over here. I can’t even see you. Come closer. I won’t bite you.” I was just—there was sooo much attraction and sooo much… I want to say love, but it wasn’t love at that point. You know, it was just this, this magnetic force field like I had never experienced. It terrified me. Absolutely terrified me. And, um, I eventually walked over to his side of the room. [laughs] He was pretty relentless. And that’s all I’m gonna say on that! Now fade to black!
Oh, don’t fade to black now.
I used to make a joke that I could have helped save the world, but I had to sleep with him. You know? It was kind of like that.
And then what?
I fell in love with Johnny Reid. He called me the next day. We talked on the phone almost every night for four hours. We met on February 21. On February 25—on the phone, from Davenport, Iowa—I fell in love with him. Head over heels in love. I was a goner.
What was it about that phone call?
You know, love is this mysterious force that you just don’t understand. And it’s uplifting, and it’s bigger than you, bigger than us, bigger than everyone. We could not stop it. It was so big. And it’s still big. It’s astonishing. It surprises us.
Do you see yourself living happily ever after with him?
[pauses] I have no idea. I do know that I will love him and that love is till death do us part, and probably beyond. We have a child together, so at the very least we will be co-parents together.
Have you been involved with any other men since—
Oh no! Oh, my God, no. Absolutely not. And it’s so hilarious, all these things that I’m such a flirt and I’m promiscuous? Johnny gets the biggest laugh out of that. I mean, the biggest. There’s been one time period in my entire life that I would qualify myself as promiscuous. There’s this Jay McInerney book [Story of My Life, narrated by a character based on Hunter, who briefly dated McInerney], and let’s correct a part of that right now. In my early twenties, there was a time period when I, in the late ’80s, did cocaine. And partied. I was living in New York City.
I think you were the only one who did cocaine in the late ’80s.
Correct! I was the only one! But the point being, I was never, as it’s been reported, a drug addict. The word addiction means inability to stop. I stopped doing drugs in my twenties. As for being promiscuous, I would say that I was a bit promiscuous for about six months. But it was because I was partying, and there were a lot of very good-looking available 20-year-old men around that you’d be partying with, and there was a lot of, you know, hooking up going on.
What was McInerney like to hook up with?
[laughs] I love Jay. Jay is a great guy, a lovely man. To date? That time in my life was a nightmare.
*****
You mentioned that it did go through your head, on that first night, that Johnny was married. Did that bother you?
Oh yes. Before I met Johnny, I had a lot of judgment about infidelity. Now I have a much deeper and greater understanding and acceptance of people’s processes. It’s hard and complicated for a lot of people to pull the Band-Aid off, so to speak. So I did have problems with it. Many. But once again, the force field of our love overrode any issues that would arise from my belief systems about, you know, “It should be going different than it is. He should be behaving differently than he is.”
Were you ever in a relationship in which you were hurt by infidelity?
I come from a family of infidelity.
Your dad?
My parents. Both of them. So there’s no shock that that would be a dynamic I was involved with.
When did Johnny start to tell you that there were problems in his marriage?
Well, I was aware of it from the get-go. He doesn’t lie to me.
How can you be sure?
He doesn’t lie to me. He discloses everything to me. And he has no fear of lying to me. Part of the problem—it’s the fear of what’s gonna happen that causes the lie. And the hiding. The fear of the repercussions. And, well, first of all, infidelity doesn’t happen in healthy marriages. The break in the marriage happens before the infidelity. And that break happened, you know, two and a half decades before I got there. So the home was wrecked already. I was not the Home Wrecker.
So you have enough of a bond with him that, even though you know he’s lied to his wife and his state and the country, you really never worry that he will lie to you?
No. He does not lie to me. At all.
Because he doesn’t have to worry about the repercussions?
He’s not afraid of me. He’ll tell me anything and everything. Even disclosing to me when women hit on him, and everything that was said, and if he flirted. He has no fear that I’m going to abuse him. And I believe what happened in his marriage is, he could not go to his wife and say, “We have an issue.” Because he would be pummeled. So he had a huge fear. Most of his mistakes or errors in judgment were because of his fear of the wrath of Elizabeth. He’s allowed himself to be pushed into a lot of things that he wouldn’t normally do because of Elizabeth’s story line. And the spin that she wants to put out there. He was emasculated. And you know, the wrath of Elizabeth is a mighty wrath.
How were you able to reconcile learning these things about her, from him, at the same time knowing that she’s ill?
Well, his relationship with her and the problems in it really had nothing to do with me. You remove me from the equation and they still exist. They existed before I was there. They’re still existing. His dynamic with me is completely different.
